Successions of Somethings ~ Chapter Seven

“Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me”

Psalms 25:2b

Before dialing her parents, Pearl dialed a local number; that of her niece Maddi. She dialed Maddi’s cell phone; three rings, and the voice mail. Pearl left a message and begged Maddi to return her call as soon as possible.

She quickly dialed her mother: “Mom?”

“Oh, hello Peal. Are you coming over? Have you heard the news yet? Why aren’t you here? Your father said that you said there were detectives at your house. Did they tell you what happened?”

“Yes, mom they told me about Sonny. I am sorry I didn’t call back sooner or come by yet. I will come just as soon as I can get away. Have you seen Jen yet? Is she at the house or is she at the hospital? Mom where is Maddi? Are you sure they want to be at your house? I think they might rather stay in Little Rock where it’s closer to Sonny. I don’t know what to do. I am going to call Jen, and I will call you later.”

She hung up and dialed Jen’s number. The phone rang twice and then was answered by Maddi. “Maddi! Thank goodness it’s you. Honey what’s going on?”

“Oh, Aunt Pearl, it’s awful. I mean it’s awful. There are all of these police here taking pictures and asking mom questions, and then they asked me questions about you. All Mom can say is ‘Ask Pearl, ask Pearl.’ Why is she saying that? Why should they ask you?”

“Wait now, Maddi, calm down… I know it’s weird right now and there is a lot of commotion, but tell me what you want me to do. Do you want Grandma to come and get you and your mom? Do you want me to come and get you two and bring you back here to my house or your apartment? There are detectives here too asking questions. They said they suspect foul play, but I am really not quite sure yet why it involves me. Let me know what you want me to do. Have you called grandma yet to let her know that you are with your mom? Sweetie we’ll figure this out. Stay calm and try to calm your mom.”

“But, I don’t understand why all she is saying is to ask you.”

“Well, I will explain that later. After the shock of all of this has worn a little and after the detectives have the answers they want, I will tell you everything they said and why your mom is a little hysterical right now. Just hold her sweetie. Remember this is a pretty shocking thing for all of us, but she has not really lived without your dad for twenty-seven years, and now there is that very real fear in her mind and heart. She doesn’t know what to do or think or feel right now. Hold her sweetie, be there and let me know what you want me to do. Call grandma.”

“Okay, Aunt Pearl. I love you, and thank you. I want you here as soon as you can get here. I will call Grandma. I want her here too and Grandpa and everyone. No, don’t bring the younger kids. All of the police are scary, and they don’t need to see this. I just want you guys here soon. I am so scared and mommy is really freaking me out.”

“All right Maddi. I will be there as soon as I can. Call Grandma and tell her you want her there. I think she is half expecting you to come to her house, but you just tell her honey. She and Grandpa will be there soon.”

“Bye, aunt Pearl. I love you.”

“I know dear, I love you too. I will there soon.”

As she hung up the phone, she gasped for breath, and then sat on the side of the bed and sobbed. A million thoughts ran through her head, and she tried to pull herself together in order to return to the living room and her detective guests, but the more she tried to get it together, the stronger her flow of tears ran. Her head began spinning and suddenly she felt as if she were going to be sick. Pearl made her way to the master bathroom and grabbed a washcloth. She ran cool water over the rag, and then gently twisted the rag releasing the excess water. She dabbed her face to try to calm down and relieve her nausea. After a few minutes, she felt less queasy, freshened her make-up a bit, folded the cloth and lay it to the side of the sink, then returned to the living room where she found both detectives standing and talking.

They didn’t notice her enter the room and were immersed in conversation about their own lives. She quietly asked if there was anything else she could get for them. They both sat at that point, and Conner asked if he could resume questioning. Pearl looked puzzled and said, “I understand that you have some questions right now. But, if I am not being charged with anything, and there is no evidence as to my suspicion of guilt here, would it be all right if you two come back another day? I just got off of the phone with my niece and mother. My niece is at her parents’ home in Little Rock and wishes for me to be with her. I believe she needs me right now more than the two of you need me. Whatever it is that you need to ask me will not change by tomorrow. If you wish to resume your interrogation, please come back tomorrow afternoon.”

Walters stood, took Conner by the arm, and thanked Pearl for her hospitality. Pearl showed them to the door and told them to return the next day after lunch. The detectives walked down the curved hosta-lily edged walkway shaking their heads and asking each other questions for which neither of them had any answers.

Pearl closed the door slowly and then turned around as if she were not quite sure of her whereabouts. She made her way back to the small cozy kitchen and put the cups in the dishwasher. She wiped off the table and put the muffins away then returned the basket to the selves above the pantry. She again took the phone in hand and this time dialed her ex-husband.

“Donald, this is Pearl.”

“Yeah, Pearl. You want to talk to one of the kids?”

“No. I need to talk to you for a minute. Is this a good time?”

“I guess it’s as good as any. The kids are out in the pool, so it’s fine.”

“Donald look, there has been an accident.”

“Oh? Is everything all right?”

“No, everything is far from all right. Sonny was seriously injured last night, and the detectives believe there is some question about how this accident happened. I am on my way to Little Rock right now, and two detectives will be stopping by my house tomorrow after lunch to question me.”

“Question you? What’s going on Pearl?”

“Donald, you know me better than that. They just have to check all of their leads, and since I went to Little Rock last night, I guess that makes me a suspect. It’s odd really; a suspect in his tragedy. Anyway, I need you to keep the kids until the police have gone. Is that a problem? I will tell them about Sonny when they get home, but I don’t want the police asking questions in front of the kids.”

“Gosh pearl. You know it’s fine. We will keep them as long as you need us to keep them. I am really sorry about your brother. Let us know if there is anything else you need from us okay.”

“Thank you. I will call you tomorrow as soon as my company leaves. Bye.”

“Bye and hey, don’t worry about the kids. They are fine.”

She hung up the and hurriedly made her way to the back door where she reached for her keys, her purse, and slipped on her shoes. She turned and peered around the kitchen door to make sure the front door was locked. She saw the knob turned to the right and the dead bolt fastened, so she proceeded to open the back door, step through gingerly, turn to fasten the dead bolt and then walked down the steps, into the garage, and then into her vehicle. She sat in her mini-van with the keys in the ignition and pushed the garage door opener. She sat; still, quiet, motionless. Memories flooded her mind and left her paralyzed to her existence.

Successions of Somethings ~ Chapter Six

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil”

Psalms 23:4

Walters and Conner sat in full attention, but Pearl stopped speaking and seemed to drift to another world. Indeed, she was in another world-- a world far from the present. She was back in her childhood home. Lying in her bed staring at the large orange and yellow flowers on her ceiling, hoping the hurt would end, hoping her mother wouldn’t find out, hoping that she did not cry too loudly. She sat immobile, in that room, hoping. Lifting her tired fragile, young body out of bed, she listened to the voices that cried to her on these nights—the nights that seemed to be more frequent the older she grew. She was now seven, but these voices she had heard since she was only five. That specific night, they were louder than ever before as she emerged from her bedroom and walked down the narrow hallway toward the formal living room.

As Pearl drew closer to the living room, she heard the voices more prevalently- now accompanied by the sound of the train,. A smile formed on her face. She turned the corner and in the dark, quiet room, circling the outer wall, she saw a train with children of every age sitting on top, with dolls stuffed through the windows, and music, there was loud wonderful music that resounded as a carousel. One of the voices captivated her and beckoned her aboard. She climbed on top of one of the cars as she had many nights before and enjoyed her circles around the living room.

Her train was only hers, the laughing was only for her, and the music was also hers alone. The train looped the room for what seemed like hours, but when the sun rose the next morning, Pearl awakened in her bed knowing it was her secret reality and her hidden happiness. No one could take her train ride away from her. No one could hurt her while she rode, and no one ever needed to know where she went when she boarded the happy train.

“Ms. Mackinac. Ms. Mackinac, are you all right?” Walters asked softly as she gently touched her hand on the table in front of them.

“Oh, oh my, I am terribly sorry. I must have slipped into thought. I am sorry, please excuse me.” Pearl said in embarrassment wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

“That’s quite all right Pearl.” Conner retorted, “But, where did you go” What took you so deeply into thought?”

“Well…hmmm, that’s kind of a long story in itself. I guess all this talk about my nieces and my sisters-in-law have caused me to revisit my youth. And, sometimes when I visit, I stay too long.” A tear welled in Pearl’s left eye, and she hung her head sensing that the detectives had seen her thoughts and her hurt. She averted her eyes as if she were ashamed.

“Well, I guess we should ask you a few questions now… that is if it is all right to change the subject for a moment,” Conner stated.

“Yes, that’s fine,” she replied, wiping a tear from her face and inhaling deeply.

“Ms. Mackinac, you said your sister-in-law saw you last night on their street. Little Rock is about an hour and a half away from here. What time did you visit your brother?” asked Walters.

“Actually, I never said I visited him at all. I did; however, say that his wife said that she had seen me on their street.”

“Pardon me. I guess I got ahead of myself.”

“Not a problem. I just don’t want you to put ideas in the air that don’t need to be there. If those ideas are there, people who do not need to be hurt will be hurt.”

“Okay, so did you go to Little Rock last night?” Walters blurted.

“Actually, yes, I went to Little Rock last night and yes, I did drive down to Cavanaugh.” “Well, imagine that.” Walters chimed in, “So, did you visit him?”

“How about some more coffee? There’s plenty. Or, would you like something else?”

“Ms. Mackinac, why don’t you answer the question?”

“Officer Walters, I visit my brother every day.”

“Wait a minute. I am a little confused. You visit him every day, but you live an hour and a half apart, and you work here in town.”

“Yes, and until about six months ago, I worked in Batesville and he lived in our hometown of Redlands, California. But, I still visited him every day, and he visited me as well.”

“Okay, so you are saying that you two have seen each other every day for your entire lives.”

“I am saying this; every day my memory of my brother haunts me. Conversely, his memory of what he did to me, to his wives, to his daughters, to our brother, this memory haunts him as well. I see him every day, and he sees me every day. He sees me as a little girl who used to live in the bedroom at the end of the hall. The young woman who he bought nice gifts for, so she wouldn’t tell mommy what was going on. The woman he lost when she found a man who showed her what real love was and introduced her to herself and all of the wonderful qualities she possessed.”

“So, you didn’t stop at his house last night when you drove down to the city?”

“Again, would you like some tea, coffee, water?”

“No, Ms. Mackinac, I want some answers to my questions. We have been here nearly two hours, and you have avoided answering questions and have told stories about your dying brother.”

“Dying?” Pearl asked with a gasp of surprise.

“Yes, he’s very critical. I am sorry, but your brother has had a terrible accident. We are asking questions, because you may have been the last person to see him, and we need some answers to some questionable activity.”

“You are serious… My brother is in danger. He’s not gone though right? Where is he? Is he in the hospital? Oh my; that must be what mother was so upset about. I have to call my parents. Please excuse me.”

“Of Course; we’ll just wait in the living room if you don’t mind.” said Conner.

Walters asked, “Do you mind if I use your restroom?”

“No, that’s fine. Make yourself at home. It’s down the hall to the right… second door. Please, I am so sorry, excuse me.”

Detective Conner walked into the living room and milled through the magazines on the table. Walters adjourned to the rest room and Pearl, hands shaking, took the cell phone to her bedroom.

Successions of Somethings ~ Chapter Five

“Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself”

Psalms 84:3

“Oh, well you see none of us are originally from Arkansas -- well not really. Sonny and I were born here and our younger brother was born in California, but we were raised primarily in California. We have grandparents in both states, so it was easy for our parents to spend a few years here - then a few years there until Sonny started school. That’s when they decided to stay in California.

Mom and dad raised us in southern California in the town of Redlands. We loved it. Our house was in the middle of the orange groves and only a few miles from where Sonny, Gwenn, and Maddie lived. We spent most of our days together, and Sundays and holidays were always spent eating and singing together.

The house was a large plantation style house. It was a steel gray color with white trim. The porch was large and held large potted plants and a swing. Two picture windows looked out onto the porch, and the steps into the yard were wide and fanned out toward the bottom where they met the lawn.

A few years after moving to the orange groves, mom and dad started buying property in Arkansas. So, after I married, my husband and I started buying property in Arkansas too. We moved in the mid 90s and have been here since. Well, not exactly in the same spot we originally landed, but Arkansas nonetheless. When my husband and I divorced, we both moved to different locations to seek employment that was not offered in the tiny “Mayberry –Peyton- Place”. I took a job teaching journalism and speech at a small private high school on the south side of Batesville.

On most weekends the kids and I love to explore the river and different sites around town. We are especially fond of the river and try to make it back as often our schedules allow. One of our favorite aspects of this town is trying to snag paddle fish off of lock two. Sonny taught me to fish when I was young, but we never saw fish like this in California- paddle fish or spoonbills as some of my students called them are absolutely amazing.

It’s funny really- being raised in the city in southern California and then moving to a place where the idea of traffic is waiting ten minutes at the light. If only they knew… yes, it’s pretty funny to think back on my life before Arkansas and my life now. I mean, I still have some of my California ways, but sometimes I catch myself behaving as if I have lived in the country all of my life with bare feet and a fishing pole; meeting at grandma’s every Sunday after church for her friend chicken, and going to the Hutchinson Mountain fish fry every first Friday of the month. It didn’t take long after moving to the Batesville area to fall in love with the lifestyle here. My kids are happy, my job is wonderful, and now more importantly, my wonderful niece lives close, eats dinner with us most Sundays, and is such an amazing young woman.

Her parents moved about six months ago and although Little Rock is not far, Maddie makes sure she keeps her distance from them. It’s funny too, in all of the trips they have made to Batesville to try and see her, they have never stopped by my house. My sister-in-law came to town by herself once, because she wanted to see how old the kids were and how well they were doing, but that was at first and she paid dearly for that visit when she got home.

I stopped a few weeks after her visit when I was in Little Rock doing some shopping. She told me that they had been busy, but when Sonny left the room for a moment, she leaned over and quietly said, 'He was really angry that I stopped, so let’s not mention it again okay.' I thought I would explode. It was as if every hurtful thing that so-called man had ever done to me or anyone else just came to the surface and choked the air right out of me."

Successions of Somethings ~ Chapter Four

“The Lord is my shepherd… he restores my soul”
Psalms 23:1a,3a

Walters and Conner had no idea what they had stepped into. This was like an old episode of The Twilight Zone that never ended. More specifically, like the episode in which a woman drove into a small, seemingly, quaint, rural town. Only when she arrived, there was not a living soul there. She was completely alone. She went everywhere, and then suddenly, she saw something looking at her. It was a pair of eyes, and that pair of eyes was not normal sized. In the end, the lady found that she was in a dollhouse, and she was the little doll. Those eyes were of a little girl, and the woman was her toy. Similarly, that was the feeling of the two detectives. Tom thought he knew her , but there they were, with this woman they both suspected was a few flowers short of a full bouquet, and they felt that they had no option but to listen. Internalizing every part of her story, Tom stared at her and contemplated what to say next.
The room was quiet for a moment and Tom Conner spoke, “Pearl, what ever happened to that niece?”
“She grew up, like the rest of us. She has tried to get to know the family a little bit, but you know how it is when you are told one thing about someone and then try to form your own opinion…sometimes you just can’t shake those ugly lies you have been told. I guess it is really difficult for her to trust any of us. She does better over time, but still.”
“So, she began college back here?”
“Oh, no; she is grown and married with a child of her own. Sonny’s youngest daughter, from his second marriage, is a student at the community college in Batesville- pretty close to where I live. Now there is an amazing kid.”
“Would you mind telling us about her? Did you have the same feelings about her that you did about the other niece?”
“I can honestly say, No. I didn’t have the same feelings. The things that I dealt with in watching her grow were totally different. You see, her mother stayed. I had to be part of this girl’s life and watch all of these things happen. I have often wondered if I were just as guilty of abuse, because I never knew what to say or do. He was horrible to her and her mother as he had been to his first little family, only this time they stayed together. We all knew, yet we remained silent.”
“So, he abused his daughter and wife?”
“That’s putting it lightly. He brainwashed them, beat them, and literally took away their hope. My niece called me one night and told me about a game she had played. She was a big basketball player in high school. Her mother and father could not make it to the game, so my poor niece did not have anyone at the game that night. It was a usual thing. It was awards night, and she received the MVP award. Her parents didn’t even care. When I asked her why her parents did not go, she got really quiet. I told her that she needed to talk and that I was there for her. She went on to say that when she told her parents about it, her dad became angry and told her that he was not about to go to one of her “G. D.” games and that if she said one word about it, he would knock her on her butt (to put it mildly). She said that she knew that tears were welling up in her eyes, and he looked at her and told her that she was a crybaby and then hit her. Her mom said that she would go with her and told her how proud she was.
After hearing his wife support their daughter, my brother turned around and went ballistic. He told his daughter to go to her room for causing trouble and then beat his wife for showing favoritism to her daughter over her husband. I guess that explains why she went alone. After that incident, my niece went to all of her functions alone. My parents and I lived too far away to attend, and she did not want to relive that night, so she didn’t ask any more.
You know, as she told me that story and I began to picture her in that room, listening to her mother getting beaten and being put in her place. I could only revisit the past. It was like I was standing in that living room listening to him torture Gwenn all over again. Flashes of the past flew through my mind and bitter abscesses of hatred began to boil in my gut. All I could see was everything he had taken away from his family, from my younger brother, and from me.
She was so young and so smart. She used to tell me all of the time that as soon as she was 18 and had graduated from high school, she was out of there. She went on to say that sometimes she hated her mom for staying with him. She wanted better for herself and for her mother, and it hurt her that her mother was too afraid to do better for the two of them long ago.”
“So, she graduated and left home?” said Conner
“Yes, she graduated, and though he tried to stop her, she left, enrolled in a college here, so she could be closer to the family members she felt were safe.”
“So, she stood up to him.”
“I guess you could say she stood up to him. But, the fact is, she is tormented every single day by him. He told her that if she really walked out that door and left her parents, he would pray that something bad would happen to her grandparents. Then he reminded her about the power behind his prayers and told her that she would be responsible if anything ever happened to her grandparents.”
Pearl Continued: “She called that night and talked to me about it. I told her that she would have to decide for herself if what he said was true, or if he was trying to control her and guilt her into staying. She cried so much I wished I could step through the phone and just hold her. She had already received her acceptance letter to college and was really ready to step out. I just reassured her that until she was able to think for herself and free herself from being responsible for her family’s happiness, she would always be tormented by the evil instilled in her. I went on to explain that even when and if she really takes control, there will be times when the hurt is so strong it will bring doubt. She sobbed more and told me how much she loved me and missed me. It was so sad to hear her young voice wanting so much for someone to make the decisions for her, but the fact is, she had to make that choice and know that whatever choice it was, it was between her and God and was not her father’s choice to make.”
“The day he took her to the airport, she called crying beyond clear recognition of who was on the other line. She told me that her parents had taken her to the airport and on the way her father had told her what good for nothing slut she was, and because he couldn’t reach her, he hit her mother three times in anger that his daughter was leaving. Imagine this- sitting in the car, and he hits her. He then told her not to ever step foot in his house again and continued with the name calling. He stopped long enough at the curb to let her out and then drove off. There she was eighteen years old and scared to death. She got on the plane and headed to Grandma’s. When she arrived, she slept for two days and then came to visit my family. She wrapped her arms around me, and we just held each other for a while. Her cousins all did the same. For days she called and asked advice about school and life and just anything she could think of. She had been through so much torture in her life and had all of her decisions thrown in her face and the heaping pile of guilt that went along with them, but suddenly, she was free and she didn’t know what to do.
“So, what did she do?” implored Conners.
“She asked me if I thought it was a bad idea to take a semester off of school and just try to decide what she really wanted to do. I thought it was actually a wise choice, so I told her that she needed to do what she felt was best for her. And, after living the life she lived for eighteen years, rest was probably the very best thing she could give herself. It later proved to be the correct medicine.”
“She’s doing well now. She has one semester left until she will complete her bachelor’s degree in education. She’s happy most of the time, but she feels guilty many times for not speaking to her parents very often. She said she just can’t do it. It’s kind of sad in a way, but they did it to themselves. After her first year here, they moved to Little Rock and my sister-in-law took a job at the hospital. They told us they were coming to be closer to their daughter, but it didn’t really work. Their daughter still held a lot of deep resentment, and her parents moving closer did not help.”
The officers sat still. The room was quiet almost stagnant, then Walters cleared her throat and spoke softly. “Did she move again?”
‘No, Little Rock is about an hour and a half from where she lives and attends school, so she really doesn’t have much of an opportunity for contact with them unless they happened to stop by and since Sonny’s accident, he doesn’t drive, so his wife has to drive everywhere. Her work schedule doesn’t allow many days off when their daughter is not working or in class, so they do the dance of avoidance and do it well I might add.”
Walters looked slightly puzzled and finally asked, where did they move from, and why Little Rock?